That exact moment when I realized my work-life balance sucked, I felt like trapped.
We all have seen at least once in our life, those poor little rats used to run experiments. Well, I would be hypocritical by saying that I have no idea of what their feeling is.
Completely lost, across an endless labyrinth surrounded by walls I could not even think to overcome. I have had this feeling.
I lost the sight toward the horizon I have always considered to be my own and indisputable direction.
Where shall I redirect my compass now?
Why is this happening to me?
Well, easy to admit when we get lost. That feeling floods our mind and does not release any of the tension we perceive while trying to figure out the answer to another essential question:
What can I do now?
More than keep turning around and try to bite my own tale, I have decided to sit down and chill out. The best I could think of was a drastic step by step definition of root causes behind this.
Therefore, I have drawn a map full of questions. The fact that this map was actually in front of my eyes, gave me a concrete impression of its ramification. It really helped me out figure where to start answering questions.
Who am I?
Well, that’s the most difficult one. I took action on this one, analyzing my personality and career over the previous years. I have taken into account my own choices and determined those I have taken based on my real will and feeling.
Why did I do that?
Simply, I understood that many of my choices have been driven by external suggestions (wanted or not). So, I deeply wished to get to know my inner self and find out more about my true values.
I soon realized this was a hard task. I am not afraid to admit that this was one of the most difficult challenges I have ever met.
This was all I needed to give to my life a second shot. Good job and great achievement do not correspond to self-realization.
I have read about tons of high-level managers, suddenly dropping their awesome careers to pursue a completely new life.
Why did they do so?
Discovering my inner values, made me think about their characteristics and what it is that makes an actual fit with my current job. Whether we like it or not, we are not made to do something against our inner selves.
It is true that we can keep going on for many years and make sure we are perfectly hiding this feeling of discomfort. I have personally hidden it and lied to myself while my life was constantly sucked into a job that wasn’t giving me anything but sadness.
This is what was happening until I got that map of questions and realized I was a different person than I believed to be. I fought against the fear of failure. I fought again against the idea of being judged by others and more importantly, by myself.
“I am not good enough”
I would keep repeating to myself, and so building up insurmountable walls all around the labyrinth I created in my mind.
Finally, all appeared much clearer. I had to take that step.
Against all the balance I have tried to achieve, I realized Work and life cannot be the main characters of two separate stories. Forget about this. This is just a myth. Living your own life while realizing who you really are, this is what erases the definition of work-life balance forever.